Lessons Learned in a Storm

ocean-924933_1920As hurricane Matthew edged its way up the eastern seaboard, my family and I were at relative ease. Life was fairly routine. Sure, we had secured loose furniture and the like, but we really weren’t predicting much more than an average NC thunderstorm. Although earlier reports had predicted a hard hit on Wilmington and the surrounding area, the latest forecasts had the storm moving back out to sea with a possible loop back toward Florida. A friend of mine from the Sunshine State, with deep ties to North Carolina, said confidently, “It looks like it’s going to miss you.”

As time and the howling winds would inevitably disclose, the storm had other plans. As I type by candlelight using the precious energy stored in my MacBook battery – on our third day without electricity – I am reminded that life is anything but predictable. People have lost their lives. Our little community is almost completely surrounded by flooding and washed out roads. Two major Interstates have sections that are closed. Trees, shingles, siding and other objects litter our streets and yards, and folks line up for blocks in both directions to get a little gas for their car or generator. It’s after 7:30 PM and the curfew is now in full effect.

I am also reminded, however, that drastic and immediate changes to our normal day-to-day patterns can help us re-evaluate our priorities and set new courses. Here are a few of the lessons I have learned in the storm.

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Elastic Values

person-768787_1920A glance across our cultural landscape reveals vast deconstruction in nearly every facet of our world. Many in the current generation relish the razing of societal values and the demolition of time-honored tradition.

Many do not realize that this way of looking at things did not appear on the horizon of history by chance. It was in fact engineered. It began in the literary and philosophical exploration of postmodernism. Postmodernism promotes the destruction of absolutes and accepted cultural norms. It challenges everything and holds no view weightier than another – or so they say.

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Who is the Narrator

book-863418_1280It has been said that history is written by the victor. This often becomes the rallying cry for those who would “debunk” common understandings of history, especially when it conflicts with their personal bias or gains them notoriety. The recent scandal of the so-called “Gospel of Jesus’ Wife” papyrus, shows how even a Harvard Historian can miss the mark. After four years of defending the document as authentic – despite many clues that it was not – Professor King was finally forced by other experts, to admit the error of her ways.

In truth, history is NOT always written by the victor. Most of what we know about the fall of Rome was written by Romans, i.e. the victims. Many other stories have a blend of perspectives and the best historians balance this in their interpretations.

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Unlikely Hero

IMG_0025 bOf the many success stories that should not have been, Fred’s is certainly near the top of the all-time list. He was the product of rape and lost his Mother at a young age. He was raised by his abusive/rapist Father. The hate and animosity between the two was palatable.

Despite everything, Fred fell in love with Bible stories read to him by his Father’s wife. She even began teaching Fred how to read, until his angry Father put a stop to it. When, one day, he finally saw the chance to escape, Fred fled in search of independence and a better life.

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8 Things 28 Years Have Taught Me about Marriage – Part 2

ring-433651_1920In my last blog, we looked at four things I have learned about marriage over the past twenty-eight years with my incredible wife Teri. If you missed it, you can go back and read it here.

Today we continue with four more things I have learned about marriage. I hope you find it useful!

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8 Things 28 Years Have Taught Me about Marriage – Part 1

couple-editedIn a time when the average American marriage lasts only eight years, I am delighted today to be celebrating 28 wonderful years with my beautiful wife Teri. It hasn’t always been easy, but every day, good and not-so-good, serves a sacred memory of the vows we made to each other nearly three decades ago. Through thick and thin, we have grown closer and more in love over the years. In fact, the bad times probably did more to strengthen our marriage and resolve than the good ones. I can honestly say that I am more deeply in love and more committed to Teri than ever before.

Do I have any regrets? You betcha! I wish I had known so much more about what it takes to make a great marriage long before I got into it. Our experiences are a huge part of what drives me today as I coach young couples about to take the dive. I want to do for them what no one did for me. In that spirit, I thought I would dedicate this week’s blogs to eight things I have learned about marriage over the past twenty-eight years.

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Love Wins

couple-260899_1280Love is exceedingly greater and infinitely deeper than the trivial hash-tags and memes that permeate our social-media culture. It is far more important than the puppy dog eyes, and instant connection we witness in the fantasy world of entertainment. Love is far more than a feeling. Love is far greater than action. Love is a person.

1 John 4:8 is clear, “God is love”. Everything good and perfect emanates not from human society, and certainly not from human feelings. All good things emanate from our Heavenly Father. Love, like everything else in the universe, can only be properly viewed in the light of God’s character. Love without God is like currency from a failed government. It is a counterfeit that lacks the authority to back up what is promised.

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Our Deepest Desires

dandelion-735814_1280Little Bobby eagerly awaits his Mother’s hug and thankful words after handing her a dandelion from the yard. Little Amy anxiously searches her Father’s face for approval following the presentation of her latest stick-family art. When the flower is placed in a vase on the dining room table and the drawing is given a prominent position in Daddy’s office, the children’s joy is made complete and overflowing. The children feel good about themselves. The pleasure they perceive from others, because of something they did, provides them with a pleasure of their own.

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The Deadliest Shooting in America

gettysburg-350052_1280During the debates over the Compromise of 1850, US Senator Sam Houston of Texas borrowed from the words of Jesus when he warned, “A nation divided against itself cannot stand.” The compromise comprised five separate bills that would temporarily ease the tension over the slavery issue by giving both sides a little of what they wanted. This salve applied to the publicly visible wound only delayed the inevitable disaster that ultimately resulted from the underlying cancer.

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Engaging the Real Stakes

people-1164926_1920A few short days ago in Orlando we, the American people, experienced another devastating rip in the fabric of our collective souls. The well formulated response templates were quickly populated by the various interest groups and the battle lines were clearly drawn around philosophical and political world-views. Just as fluidly, the ideological children of those interest groups leaped onto social media to defend their virtual turf and espouse their anger toward whoever and whatever threatened their position.

It appears that with each tragic salvo, facts are more and more quickly obscured by the overarching narratives that have been custom-tailored to fit each interest group’s agenda. True compassion for victims now almost immediately gives way to objectification, as the suffering are turned into poster children for carefully guarded world-views. In this crisis, for example, victims have been used to promote less guns by one group and more guns by another. Some have used the incident to indict the entire Muslim community while others have gone out of their way to say it had nothing to do with Islam at all.

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