8 Things 28 Years Have Taught Me about Marriage – Part 1

couple-editedIn a time when the average American marriage lasts only eight years, I am delighted today to be celebrating 28 wonderful years with my beautiful wife Teri. It hasn’t always been easy, but every day, good and not-so-good, serves a sacred memory of the vows we made to each other nearly three decades ago. Through thick and thin, we have grown closer and more in love over the years. In fact, the bad times probably did more to strengthen our marriage and resolve than the good ones. I can honestly say that I am more deeply in love and more committed to Teri than ever before.

Do I have any regrets? You betcha! I wish I had known so much more about what it takes to make a great marriage long before I got into it. Our experiences are a huge part of what drives me today as I coach young couples about to take the dive. I want to do for them what no one did for me. In that spirit, I thought I would dedicate this week’s blogs to eight things I have learned about marriage over the past twenty-eight years.

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Love Wins

couple-260899_1280Love is exceedingly greater and infinitely deeper than the trivial hash-tags and memes that permeate our social-media culture. It is far more important than the puppy dog eyes, and instant connection we witness in the fantasy world of entertainment. Love is far more than a feeling. Love is far greater than action. Love is a person.

1 John 4:8 is clear, “God is love”. Everything good and perfect emanates not from human society, and certainly not from human feelings. All good things emanate from our Heavenly Father. Love, like everything else in the universe, can only be properly viewed in the light of God’s character. Love without God is like currency from a failed government. It is a counterfeit that lacks the authority to back up what is promised.

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Our Deepest Desires

dandelion-735814_1280Little Bobby eagerly awaits his Mother’s hug and thankful words after handing her a dandelion from the yard. Little Amy anxiously searches her Father’s face for approval following the presentation of her latest stick-family art. When the flower is placed in a vase on the dining room table and the drawing is given a prominent position in Daddy’s office, the children’s joy is made complete and overflowing. The children feel good about themselves. The pleasure they perceive from others, because of something they did, provides them with a pleasure of their own.

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Engaging the Real Stakes

people-1164926_1920A few short days ago in Orlando we, the American people, experienced another devastating rip in the fabric of our collective souls. The well formulated response templates were quickly populated by the various interest groups and the battle lines were clearly drawn around philosophical and political world-views. Just as fluidly, the ideological children of those interest groups leaped onto social media to defend their virtual turf and espouse their anger toward whoever and whatever threatened their position.

It appears that with each tragic salvo, facts are more and more quickly obscured by the overarching narratives that have been custom-tailored to fit each interest group’s agenda. True compassion for victims now almost immediately gives way to objectification, as the suffering are turned into poster children for carefully guarded world-views. In this crisis, for example, victims have been used to promote less guns by one group and more guns by another. Some have used the incident to indict the entire Muslim community while others have gone out of their way to say it had nothing to do with Islam at all.

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The Power of Pentecost

cereals-228726_1920In the midst of celebrations of natural harvest, Jesus promised a spiritual harvest that would be like none that had come before. He told the disciples to wait for the promise of the Father that would cloth them with power from on high. (Luke 24:49) All other work was to be placed on hold until they were equipped with what God had for them.

This coming Sunday we will celebrate Shavuot – though most us refer to it as Pentecost coming from the Greek signifying that it is celebrated 50 days from the celebration of First Fruits. While many churches celebrated Pentecost on May 15 this year, Jewish people around the world will celebrate it on June 12. While I am delighted to celebrate it twice, I feel that untying the date from Passover and First Fruits was a mistake.

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Lighthouses and Mixed Messages

lighthouse-168132_1920I love lighthouses. There is something fascinating about those tall towers that provide guidance and hope to travelers tossed around on the waves of the sea. Unbeknown to the casual observer, lighthouses do much more than serve as interesting tourist attractions and beacons of light.

Each individual lighthouse can be configured to emit a specific pattern of light that synchronizes it with navigational charts. Without any other instruments, sailors can determine their position simply by observing the light. Each lighthouse is also painted uniquely in case the light is not easily seen or is broken. And in the case of very poor visibility, a unique foghorn signal conveys the same unique information.

As the United Methodist Church (UMC) struggles with its spiritual identity, I can’t help but wonder if they have forgotten that they are called to be a lighthouse. In one of the most famous passages of scriptures, Jesus related the idea of the importance of our uniqueness:

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The Not-So-Good Samaritan

file000827134112While traveling in South Carolina last week, I had the opportunity to watch a few minutes of the local news. One of the stories was about a tow truck driver who responded to a stranded motorist. Upon arriving on the scene, the tow-truck driver began the process of hooking the woman up for the tow when he noticed a Bernie Sanders for President bumper sticker.

In an interview with WLOS-TV, the tow truck driver said, “Something came over me, I think the Lord came to me, and he just said get in the truck and leave.” He went on to say how good he felt about his decision to leave the handicapped and infirmed woman to fend for herself.

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Magnificent Moms: Ten Biblical Attributes

mothersdayHappy Mother’s Day to all the great Moms! You make us who we are and we are grateful!

Today we are going to take a look at some of the Biblical attributes of Magnificent Moms. I doubt anyone hits all of them perfectly, but I know a lot of Moms – including four very special ones in my life – that get awful close. (Four? – For those wondering, I have a great Birth Mom, a wonderful Adopted Mom who married my Dad, A Blessed Covenant Mom I got when I married my Wife and of course my Wife – and Mother of our two girls – is one of the greatest Moms I know.)

Now that we got that complicated explanation out of the way, here are Ten Biblical Attributes of a Magnificent Mom:

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Big Mouth Christians

Big Mouth HippoIn the quintessential definition of rebellion, much of modern American culture appears to be tolerant of everything EXCEPT the traditional morals and values of our ancestors.

What was once considered obvious common sense is now labeled “out of touch”, “antiquated”, “bigoted” and “hateful”. 

From protests to Nightly News and Social Media, some members of our communities are increasingly being told to keep their big mouths shut. The rhetoric is mind-numbing. Continue reading “Big Mouth Christians”

In Search of God

 

prayerPeople have sought a relationship with God using three basic approaches since the beginning of time. Many today are caught in the same trap and if we are not careful, we will miss Him completely.

The search for God, more often than not, employs our natural abilities and proclivities. Our methods often say more about us than they do about God. Continue reading “In Search of God”